I connected with my brother's coworker and now my marriage suddenly feels wrong

I’ve been married for nine years. My husband isn’t a terrible person, but he’s… unreliable. Ever since he got laid off two years ago, he lost the motivation to look for a job, forgets responsibilities, and shuts down the moment anything stressful happens. I’ve spent years telling myself he “just needs time” or “has potential,” but lately it feels like I’m carrying both of us.
My brother keeps hinting that I deserve better, but I usually brush it off saying that he just needs some time.
Then I went home a few months ago to help him move, and I met his coworker, (let’s call him Evan).
We didn’t talk long, but he was the kind of person who makes everything easier without trying — helping with the heavy lifting, remembering small details, checking if I needed a break. Not in a flirty way, just… considerate. The kind of considerate I forgot existed.
After I got home, he followed me on Instagram. We started liking each other’s posts, then messaging here and there. Nothing inappropriate. Just comfortable. Sometimes he’d ask me how I’m doing and I’d open up about my conflicts with my husband. He’d listen intently the entire time and comfort me. I felt more of a connection with him than with my husband all year.
Meanwhile, my husband has been napping through weekends, forgetting bills, getting irritated when I mention chores, and acting like I’m nagging if I ask for help. I’m starting to see the pattern I’ve been avoiding: I keep shrinking myself so he doesn’t feel like I’m asking too much.
My brother openly said Evan is a better match for me. I told him I can’t leave my husband, but the thought has been stuck in my head ever since.
I don’t want to cheat. I don’t even know if there’s anything there.
But I do know that when my phone lights up with a message from Evan, I feel more seen than I have in years.
And that scares me, because it’s making me realize how lonely my marriage has become.